The Jovial Writer

 "Once" in a Lifetime A million footsteps walk down the cobbled streets of Dublin every day. Not many take the time to buy a rose from the timid flower girl or pause to listen to the talented busker in the boulevard. Yet, late one night, on her way home, the flower girl stops by the busker to listen to him perform.  “Once” is a beautifully narrated story about two unlikely souls, who are able to rediscover their passion for music. Starring the award-winning Irish singer songwriter Glenn Hansard and Czech musician Markéta Irglová, “Once” is a musical masterpiece.  At only 88 minutes long, the film manages to tell a simple story in a truly magical manner. Hansard plays the role of a vacuum cleaner repairman and a part time busker. Irglová’s character, on the other hand is a young woman who has recently come to Ireland, in search of a brighter future. She has left her piano back home in Czechoslovakia, and here on the streets of Dublin, she is but a simple flower girl. T

Pumpkin Shell and Plastic Corn Soup   Ingredients: 1. One ounce pumpkin shell (broken or whole) 2. Two tablespoons coral powder 3. Three cups plastic corns (recommended recycled Xeplometrowynelol plastic) 4. 11 ounces of water (synthetic works fine) 5. One spoon sea sand to taste Process: Mix ingredients and bring to a boil. Serve hot while plastic corn is still melted. "Mommy can we make this for my birthday tomorrow?" asked little Tanya as she settled down at the table. "I'm not sure, honey. Pumpkin skin really expensive, I don't know if we can afford enough for soup." said her mother thoughtfully as she placed a bowl in front of her daughter. "Oh." said Tanya as she looked down at the soup they were having today. It was the cheapest food they could find in the 22nd century ---plastic soup with cockroach scales. "Mommy tell me the story of my great great great great aunt Greta again." said Tanya picking up her spoon and forgetting all a

The Red Carpet Damn it Suzie. Just smile. “That’s right, like that, show me some teeth.” Flash. FLASH. FLASH. Stop fretting. Your lipstick is fine. “Smile now, smile honey, blow ’em a kiss.” Fuck. They know you did the surgery. Damn it Suzie, should have paid a little more. “Come on darling spin, spin, give us a turn. There it is.” Don’t fall, you clumsy girl. “Suzie tell us who are you dating?” Who would ever date you Suzie? “You look stunning in that dress!” Can’t they tell you threw up twice already? “The whole world is watching tonight! Hope you win the award this year. Good luck Suzie!” You? Win? You’re killing me with laughter. “Suzie, I love you! Can I get an autograph please?” called a little girl behind the tape. Of course. You stupid dunce. You know you have to keep walking, you can’t stop for--- “You changed my life.” she said. You talentless, useless, ugly--- “You saved mine.” I say. They hate you. You know that. They hate you. “Smile for the camera Suzie.” You don’t deserv

First Fall My pen friend from another country came to visit me today. I picked her up from the airport in my battered old convertable, the heater working just enough to keep us safe from frostbite. "Do you think it will snow?" she asked as soon as she got in the front seat beside me. She had never seen snowfall before so I could understand her enthusiasm. I personally hate winters. The cold gets to me, I always have a runny nose and my sore throat prohibits ice cream consumption. Further, I detest freezing my fingers off shovelling snow off the driveway and despise the extra work needed to put snow trackers on the car tyres. But she looked so eager to see the little specks of frozen water, I couldn't help but allow a small smile to form on my face. "Maybe." I said looking at the grey skies. It was a terribly dull evening, dark and cloudy, the road illuminated by yellow headlights and bylanes with half hearted Christmas decorations. My friend was dressed in br